When September arrives and summer fades, it often brings a quiet shift. The energy that kept people busy with travel, social events, and open invitations starts to settle. For many in the LGBTQ community, that transition can turn an already quiet feeling into something heavier. The appearance of connection might have filled the days, but once things slow down, the sense of being alone in your identity can come forward more clearly.
This loneliness isn’t always obvious at first. Sometimes it hides under packed calendars or familiar roles. It can show up while you’re out with friends or after scrolling through happy posts, wondering why you feel separate anyway. LGBT therapy creates space for people to be fully themselves without explanation or performance. It’s not about fixing anything. It’s about being honest in a way that feels safe, allowing yourself to be fully seen, even by you.
For those unsure whether they’re ready to start or return to counseling, it can help to reflect on the question: Should I be in therapy?
When Comfort Turns to Isolation
Being alone isn’t always a problem. Wanting space, quiet, or time for yourself can feel natural. But it changes when that quiet stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like distance. You may avoid texts, cancel more often, or just feel like you’re moving through the days without really connecting.
As fall begins, those feelings can get sharper. Especially when everyone seems to shift gears, kids back in class, shorter daylight hours, fewer spontaneous beach or bar invites in cities like San Diego or Palm Beach. It’s easy to slip into a rhythm where you’re technically fine, but emotionally on pause.
One client in California told us they didn’t notice how alone they felt until their summer activities died down. They had spent months saying yes to everything, only to realize nothing made them feel more connected. That realization led them to therapy, where they could finally sit with their feelings without distraction. One thought stood out from that first session: “I’ve been surrounded by people but still felt like no one saw me.”
The Pressure to “Please” and Fit In
A lot of LGBTQ people learn early how to read the room. It becomes a skill, knowing how to act, speak, or blend in to stay liked or keep peace. Over time, that habit can stretch way too far. People-pleasing turns into a default mode, making it hard to say no, stand out, or express conflict.
A client from Florida described how they’d say yes to things even when it drained them. Invitations, favors, staying quiet in uncomfortable conversations, it all added up. They thought keeping the peace made relationships stronger. But the more they ignored their own needs, the more resentment built inside.
Therapy gave them space to explore why saying no felt so scary. Over several sessions, they began to test how it felt to express what they really needed. And though it wasn’t easy at first, they came to a moment when they said no without justifying it, and didn’t feel guilty afterward. That change didn’t make them selfish, it made them more honest.
Self-Worth and the Inner Critic
Underneath loneliness, there’s often a quiet voice that says you’re not enough. Not fun enough, not interesting, not lovable. This voice is usually not yours, it came from rejection, judgment, or years of not being accepted for who you are.
That harsh inner critic can shape how you move through the world. It might say not to speak up because no one will listen. It might convince you to laugh things off instead of sharing how you really feel. You might start believing the people around you would leave if they knew your full truth.
We remember a client who kept repeating the phrase, “I’m just a lot for people.” It wasn’t something someone had recently told them. It was something they picked up through years of silence, growing up queer in a small school district and always feeling like too much or not enough. Through therapy, they slowly began to see where that belief came from, and how outdated it had become. They stopped filtering themselves so tightly and started speaking from a place that felt more grounded.
Kindness starts as a choice, not a feeling. That person began experimenting with kinder thoughts. Instead of, “I said too much,” they tried “What I shared matters, and I’ll be okay no matter how it’s received.” That shift doesn’t come all at once, but each kind thought starts to chip away at the doubt.
A Safe Space to Think Differently and Take Small Steps
Change often begins in a calm, quiet space. That’s what work with CBT therapy can provide. CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, helps make sense of how certain thoughts lead to uncomfortable feelings and frustrating behaviors. Sometimes we don’t even realize what thoughts are running the show until we take the time to look at them.
For some, those thoughts form patterns like, “I can’t trust anyone,” or “I don’t deserve closeness.” Both feel protective, but they often keep people farther from what they want. CBT helps label those thoughts, test their truth, and slowly replace them with something better.
One client working with us through online sessions started tracking moments when they actually felt happy, not productive, not impressive, just quietly good within themselves. It surprised them that joy often came from small acts like drawing, journaling, or letting themselves sit in the sun at Delray Beach without feeling guilty. Therapy helped them stick to those small actions, even on harder days.
Online sessions made that process smoother. Being able to log into therapy from their own home gave them more energy to focus on what mattered. They weren’t wasting time in traffic between shifts or skipping sessions when the weather changed. Instead, they could show up more consistently, even when motivation was low.
A Season to Reconnect with Yourself
Feeling alone doesn’t mean you’re broken, or that something is wrong with you. Sometimes it means you’ve been trying to carry everything without enough support. Or that you’ve been hiding parts of yourself to stay “okay” in spaces that didn’t feel safe enough.
As fall settles across places like Beverly Hills, Miami, and Newport Beach, it might help to let the season of change apply to your inner life, too. The leaves outside change naturally. And you’re allowed to shift things too. Starting with small steps, like being honest about how you feel or allowing someone to really listen, can help you find your way back to yourself in a deeper, more lasting way. Therapy, especially through flexible online sessions in California and Florida, creates space for those steps to happen without pressure.
If you’re in a relationship while navigating these shifts, these relationship tips for couples of all ages might help deepen mutual understanding and reduce the pressure to perform or pretend within your connection.
You are not too much. You are not alone. And you don’t have to keep pretending it’s fine. There is space to be you, fully and without filter, even if it takes time to believe that.
If fall has you feeling more distant from yourself or like you’re always adjusting just to make others comfortable, it might be time for something different. At Reconnect Relationship, we offer online sessions in California and Florida that create quiet space for honesty, healing, and self-expression through affirming LGBT therapy, where you don’t have to filter who you are to be supported.
