You can define infidelity/affairs as being unfaithful or cheating in a meaningful relationship such as marriage or dating exclusively, where both parties agree that they will only be intimate with one another. It can have severe consequences on the mental health of the people involved, especially the one who was betrayed. The person being cheated or partner Infidelity on often suffers more emotional damage and is left feeling alone, devastated or confused.
In some cases, the affair ends up breaking the bond, while in the other cases, couples use therapy to mend their differences and it ends up making their relationship stronger. The reason why partner infidelity is so confusing to deal with is that what one person considers normal behavior, might be deemed as cheating by the other. It is challenging to consult in a situation like a partner Infidelity
It could be that your partner is not cheating, but you see their suspicious behaviors as unfaithful. In either case, the confusion or suspicions can harm a relationship. Or it could be that some other underlying mental health issues such as low self-esteem, avoidance, or lack of emotional intimacy that is causing the conflict.
Therefore, it is important to recognize and discuss infidelity early on to avoid any clashes later in the relationship. Therapy is an excellent way to clear your doubts, confusion, suspicions, and relationship issues to develop a better understanding.
Signs of Partner Infidelity/Affairs in Beverly Hills and Laguna Beach, CA
Following are some signs that can indicate that your relationship might be suffering from infidelity or engaging in an affair. It is important to note that although these signs are common in infidelity cases, they can never be 100% sure that your partner is cheating. Let’s take a look at some common symptoms of infidelity.
- Your partner is showing hostility towards your and your relationship. They start judging you and telling you that you are not how you once were at the start of your relationship. Suddenly, nothing you do is right and even small things are bothering your partner and you’re getting pushed away.
- Your partner is very secretive of their phone or computer use and often uses them more frequently. Suddenly, there’s a password on your partner’s computer or phone and now they don’t let you use it. They never leave their devices open and take extra precaution.
- There are unexplained expenses and odd charges on your credit cards and suddenly less money in their bank accounts. The explanations for these sudden charges seem unreasonable.
- Improved appearance and a sudden change in lifestyle, such as exercising, eating healthier or good clothing. They also smell of different cologne. Also, being inappropriately defensive when asked questions.
- Sudden disappearances and spending more time out of the house. Working late or saying they’re going on business trips. Dead batteries, spending extra time at the gym, traffic jams and other things that might seem like excuses.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Psychotherapy Treatment Approaches for Partner Infidelity/Affairs in Beverly Hills and Laguna Beach, CA
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a well-known method for creating change in thoughts, feelings and behaviors. While most people are aware of CBT being used in individual therapy, it can also be used with couples to change their behaviors in a beneficial way for their relationships.
The good news is that healing is possible and a relationship can survive infidelity. Even in some cases, the post infidelity partnership is stronger because the two partners now properly understand each other’s concerns and reason for their behaviors.
CBT can help repair your relationship in the following ways:
Teach the couple to share and access their emotions
It teaches and encourages partners healthy ways to communicate with one another about their feelings. It’s about developing an understanding which allows the partners to share their pain and beliefs without criticizing, shaming or blaming. This helps to avoid reactive and dramatic behavior and move towards understanding the real underlying issues. It includes impulse control and awareness of how one’s actions impact the other.
Obtaining a Thorough History of both partners
To fully understand a relationship, a thorough family and childhood background is required, even for the partner that was faithful in the relationship. This helps see what underlying and undetected problems may be causing this tension relationship and what coping mechanisms each partner used in their lives to deal with their problems. Certain early childhood problems can find their way into adulthood and cause problems for people to get connected properly. CBT focuses on evaluating the real problem that’s becoming a cause for this infidelity later on.
Discussing personal matters with family and friends
While it is good to share your problems and concerns with others, often people are unaware of the full magnitude of the situation and can demoralize by taking sides or making matters worse. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches you to be aware of such flaws and how you can handle matters on your own or by seeking help from a therapist or someone who can understand and guide in a better way.
Soothe the Betrayed Partner
Understanding and properly addressing the emotional damage faced by the betrayed partner to help them control their obsessive thoughts, ruminations about the cheating partner’s actions. How both partners can avoid secrecy and develop a genuine sense of compassion and empathy for each other’s feelings. Thus, shifting the mental images of the person from negative to positive.
Setting goals for change
Setting goals and how the relationship should proceed is an essential step of CBT. This includes setting up particular tasks and behaviors that can lead to desirable results. It does not mean that you put the lion’s share of work on the shoulders of the partner that was unfaithful, but the unfaithful must also take essential measures to do whatever it takes to reassure the partner. Similarly, the faithful partner must also work on improving their relationships with their partner to minimize further conflicts in the future and develop a good relationship.
The Takeaway for Treatment of Partner Infidelity/Affairs
Infidelity and affairs can be truly devastating for a relationship, but it does not mean that things can’t get better. Many time couples decide to get therapy instead of escalating their conflicts and it turns out to be a great turning point for their relationships. You understand each other better, learn how to communicate effectively and work together on your relationship under the guidance of a professional therapist to get your relationship back on track.
Receiving Partner Infidelity/Affairs Counseling Services at Reconnect Relationship™ Therapy, in Beverly Hills & Laguna Beach, CA
Reconnect Relationship’s network includes specialist therapists and psychologist referrals offering partner infidelity counseling in Beverly Hills and Laguna Beach, CA.
Call us for a chat to see how we can assist you with partner infidelity and instilling trust back into your relationship or help you move on, or perhaps someone you know who needs some help and support, or complete our Drop Us A Line form to make an appointment.